Just sitting here tonight still dealing with asthma, pneumonia, and intensified nephropathy pain issues from this nasty, evil corona-virus. A bunch of things going on in my mind can easily set me into worry mode. I think it’s something we all do being human, but it is a nasty tool satan uses to steal our joy.
2021 was a trying year with lots of fear fed anxiety. I think most of us have a phone within our reach 90% of the time. What is a great tool for communication, and information is also used by that evil scumbag satan to continue adding fear into our thoughts, spurring and feeding anxiety. And it’s easy because everyone is always “checking” their phone. Reading articles, or watching news clips that “pop up”, showing us a concentrated view of times and events that easily feed the fear, worry and uncertainty. I read a lot of worst case scenarios, yet again, in concentrated doses, most being reported with what is, and can be the worst outcomes from many different life storms.
Just watch the news for 5 minutes. You’ll see Covid, Cancer, Riots, accidental tragedy, evil planned tragedy, job loss, life loss, immoral fights against morality, exposed political corruption, agenda driven threats, child trafficking, and the list goes on and on. The result is anxiety and fear, even if not felt instantly, it’s planting a seed of worry, and fear that can show its ugly face and sprout when you find yourself in a storm fearing the worst. The reality is that any of us, at any time could find ourselves in a storm that could leave us with loss from something that we already had joy stealing seeds of fear planted in our minds from constantly seeing and hearing the worst.
I am not saying that all these things don’t exist, I know they are all real and affect people’s lives everyday. I have been affected by some of these storms, and find myself focusing on the fear and the unknown and less on God’s promises and presence. I fail often, yet he has not given up on me, and still continues to show me his presence, power, and blessings time and time again.
2021 was rough for many, Covid changed everything about everyday life. We have had friends and family that did not make it through the battle with Covid, fertilizing seeds of fear in my mind. Satan uses this as a tool, giving us a fear to “live” even though we are alive, stealing joy and turning focus to fear. My heart breaks for everyone dealing with loss from this nasty virus. I am not trying to take away from the pain they are dealing with, and the fear they experienced as they watched a loved one lose the battle. But Life is a gift, and not given to live fearfully.
2021 Storms that clouded my skies with storms. Mom and Dad had Covid, worry and fear set in. Mom and Dad recovered, filling me with thankfulness to God for his blessing.
Not long after this my wife (Sara) got Covid, worry and fear set in. Sara recovered well, filling me again with thankfulness for God’s healing hand and protection.
Now Sara’s job was threatened over a vaccine. After researching and finding that the manufacturing and testing process uses things that completely go against everything we believe in, as well as raising huge red flags to the high possibility of causing known harmful effects mixed with a health issue Sara is diagnosed with. Fear and worry set in with the unknown outcome stole my focus. God stepped in and Sara was able to receive an exemption.
Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. Fear and worry set in. Then God blessed Mom and I with a 3 day getaway to OBX. Mom’s testimony facing the unknown was a great God given eye opener for me. She carries on laughing and loving, refusing to let satan steal her joy. More blessings and thankfulness.
Don’t let satan steal your joy, he’s a Scumbag and does not deserve it! Your joy is in the Lord and he will give you the strength to overcome storms.
Dad was cutting a 55 gallon barrel (He’s a scrapper) and it exploded, hitting him in the chest and face. I answered the phone to Mom on the other end, shaken with a tear filled voice giving me the details and that she was following the ambulance to the hospital. Fear and worry filled my thoughts even as I drove to the hospital while praying. After sitting for what seemed forever, I heard the words from an amazed medical staff member on the other end of the phone, “He has no broken bones, no internal injuries, just a lot of bruising”. What a blessing, even when my focus turned to fear and worry, and was trying to drown out my prayers, God was there in a big way. Even giving what was an almost tragic testimony to the medical staff as they would comment “I don’t know how that didn’t take his life, let alone no broken bones, or internal injuries, God was watching out for him”. What a blessing.
Not feeling well for a couple weeks after starting a new pain med prescribed at my last pain management appointment, I started to have extreme chills, added on top of my already pain induced cold sweats. Over a week into these terrible chills, with no sign of added relief yet with the pain and my heart rate started to get pretty high. Sara thought it would be best for me to go to the ER and get checked out. So off to Dubois hospital I went. After numerous tests, and being told to stop the new medicine immediately, I was also tested and was positive for Covid. With no other symptoms I was sent home to the now Isaac, Ian, Alissa all having symptoms, and testing positive.
Fear and worry filled my mind. The kids all did fine and had no severe complications from this nasty virus. Praise God! After thinking mine was going to be mild also, Fear and worry filled my mind as it escalated my already neuropathy pain filled legs and feet into mind numbing, what seemed to be life changing fearful pain radiating from my back and down both legs. Still feeling thankful that having had bad times with asthma from the time I was a kid, it did not seem like it was going to get my breathing. Another trip to the hospital now for the unbearable pain, getting some strong (temporary) IV pain med and sent back home. 2 days later still dealing with what seemed to be mind changing pain, other odd worry filled symptoms started to show up, prompting another ER visit. Scans, x-rays and heart checks complete, along with a couple bags of fluid, and an antibody infusion. I headed back home to continue to fight this off with thankfulness that everything was looking good, and no life threatening complications this far into being sick.
Now another day or two passed and breathing was becoming a chore, talking was complicated, and I was thinking the worst. Back to the ER again. I had already been taking breathing treatments, steroids, and antibiotics called in by my family doctor, and Ivermectin from my local pharmacy (Rural King…hahahaha). My fears were then becoming a reality as I felt as if I was suffocating. Not being able to drink, eat, or get much sleep for the last couple days, I felt as I was in trouble. Fear and worry filled my head as I lay in an ER bed waiting for the Doctor. Hooked up for a couple more bags of fluid, and a CT scan, I was told my lungs looked like a big crystal with Covid Pneumonia. After discussing options if I continued to worsen, and stating that I would not go on a ventilator if things did get that bad, I was told to go home and fight it.
Now home, I felt that the reality was that I was not going to make it. Struggling to breathe, fighting the thoughts of things ending in my head, while sitting on the edge of my bed, God showed up with Sara, Isaac, Ian, and Alissa all surrounding me, and praying. Fear temporarily left my mind and I was overwhelmed with thankfulness for such an amazing Godly wife and kids as they prayed wholeheartedly for my healing.
It’s now been about a month into kicking this Covid, and the issues it brought with it. I’m still having some problems, but I have been blessed with recovering.
I know I have rambled on, and turned this into a longer read (however I did shorten it from my original writing). God has shown up in so many storms this past year, and flooded me with thankfulness and blessings. I feel brokenhearted for ones going into 2022 dealing with loss, whether it be from Covid, cancer, tragic accidents, or anything causing the loss of a loved one. I am praying for 2022 and for ones that will go through storms and loss this year. Life can change or end so quickly, I pray for strength to drown out satan’s joy stealing lies in this fear and worry filled world. Even when it’s hard, look to God and find the blessing that he gives in every situation, even when we feel the storm looks too big to overcome and fear fills our minds, trust and lean on God, he is bigger than anything that scumbag satan can throw at us or put into our minds. God is always there, we just have to take our focus off the problem and onto him. The fear, worry, and anxiety have never given me any benefit, and they never will, but God remains at my side even after I continue to mess up.
The best way to find peace in storms is to give your life to Christ, regardless of your past, Christ died to save sinners.
What a gift!!! For me, seeing all the trouble, hurt, sorrow, fear, and deceitfulness in this world, I can’t even imagine the awesomeness of heaven. Believers will leave all this behind!